August 3, 2016

A wise lover regards not so much the gift of the lover, as the love of the giver.
The Imitation of Christ, Book Three, Chapter 6, Thomas A'Kempis

We've all seen this in action at various times in our lives.  It is displayed in the artwork or the arts and crafts project a young child presents to his or her mother for Christmas.  It shows up when a child wants to make his or her dad proud by washing the car or helping (unasked) with yardwork.  It shows up when a partner offers an unexpected gift.

We probably all recognize the opposite of this as well – the wedding ring isn't big enough; the gift doesn't convey the right image; or the movie scenario where the woman is overwhelmed with extravagant gifts that have no meaning.

In The Princess Bride, the only gift that poor stable boy Westley can offer Buttercup are the words, “As you wish.”  This obviously isn't much of a gift, but eventually Buttercup realizes that it's not the gift of a lowly stable boy submitting to a person of higher rank as it is that those words express Westley's deep and abiding love for her.  And when she finally makes that realization, all is right in her world . . . well, for a bit anyway, as Westley is killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts and Buttercup is set to be married off to the evil Prince Humperdink.

As a person in love, we can focus on the wrong thing.  As a person in love, we might be tempted to focus on the gift we are giving, making sure it is appropriate, rather than on the reason we are giving it.

As the object of affection, we can fall into the same trap.  As the object of affection, we might be tempted to receive the gift with an, “It's nice, but . . .” attitude.

As Thomas A'Kempis pointed out, it is the wise lover who can look past the gift itself and appreciate the true meaning behind the gift.

In our lives, what gifts have we received where we focused on the wrong thing?  In our lives, what gifts have we received where it really wasn't about the gift, but about the love of the one who gave us the gift?  And if we can learn to see the love behind the gift, if we can learn to see the love of the person giving the gift, then maybe we can see the gift of bread and wine not as simple gifts, but as the greatest expression of love that God can bestow upon us.

Amen.