“Do not be always wanting everything to turn out as you think it should, but rather as God pleases, then you will be undisturbed and thankful in your prayer.”
Abba Nilus
Prayer can be a tricky thing.
It is used for giving thanks. It is used for offering praise. It is used as an intercession on behalf of others. It has been used to invoke calamity on enemies (such as Ps. 137). It is used to ask God for what we need. And sometimes the shortest prayers are the most honest, as Anne Lamott wrote in her book, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers.
“What do you think prayer is?” I ask people. As you would expect, I get answers that run the gamut from one end of the spectrum to the other, touching on all of the aspects of prayer I mentioned above.
One of the things I think we all forget is that prayer is how we connect with God. Prayer is how we deepen our relationship with God. Like lunch with a friend or a game of cards or time spent on the river or any number of activities that we spend with our friends, prayer is how we spend time with God. It is how we converse, how we listen, how we express our feelings, and how we grow.
A good relationship needs time for both sides to speak and time for both sides to listen. It is in the speaking that we open up to another person. It is in the speaking that we take risks and share our own thoughts with another person. It is in the listening that we learn about another person. It is in the listening that we value and honor another person.
Prayer is the activity of developing our relationship with God. The problem, though, is that, unlike any other relationship we have, God doesn't always give immediate feedback. Oftentimes it seems as if God isn't listening. But maybe that's because we are spending too much time talking and not enough time listening ourselves.
When we pray, maybe we need to not only spend more time listening ourselves, but listening TO ourselves. What do our prayers sound like? If we were God, how would we receive our prayers? Do our prayers sound like the chorus from Toby Keith, “I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about Number One”?
“But when you pray, pray like this: Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Prayer, among other things, is a time of discernment. Where are you leading me? How can I help usher in the kingdom? Do I need a course correction? How might I best use my talents? Where do I go from here? Am I doing the right thing?
There are times when we express our doubts, anger, thanksgivings, gratitude and concerns through prayer. A good relationship with God will allow for all of that. But when we pray, in all times and in all conditions, maybe we should end our prayers with, “Your will be done.” Among other things, this might help us to remember, as Abba Nilus suggested, that we truly belong to God and are living in God's time, not ours.
Amen.
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