May 18, 2022

We can't be useful unless we are empty. – Br. Aiden, Diocesan Clergy Retreat

The diocese held a clergy retreat at Claggett Center this past Sunday afternoon through Tuesday morning. It was good to get away, meet up with some clergy friends, share stories, and listen to our guest speaker. As a side note, I also won 6 out of 7 pool games, so that was fun!

Brother Aiden is a monk at the Holy Cross Monastery in upstate New York and he gave three presentations that touched on the general topic of holy presence. In one of the presentations he made the above statement. I'm sure that at some point or another you have heard something along the lines of, “emptying ourselves for God.”

That statement can, however, be taken to a negative extreme. It could be seen as a call to continually give of ourselves, emptying ourselves, until we reach the point where we have nothing left to give. This could be clergy who are bad at self-care. It could be teachers who run up against a system that continually requires them to give while not giving anything in return. Or it could be any other vocation that is based on service and care.

Brother Aiden pointed something out that helped me see this in a new way.

When we empty ourselves, we are removing things that we have used to fill us up that are in place of who God is asking us to be. We empty ourselves of the things, attitudes, desires, and/or other aspects of life that get in the way of living as God asks us to live.

It is through that emptying that we find God can fill our now empty space with a new direction, a new desire, a new interest, or a new insight to an old way of doing things.

Emptying ourselves for God doesn't mean burning out or going until we can't go anymore. Instead, think of emptying yourself for God as the spiritual discipline that allows you to get out of God's way so that your self-emptiness is now useful for God, and that usefulness is being holy (and wholly) present.

Blessings,

Todd+

May 4, 2022

Hence the necessity to die daily: how ever often we think we have broken the rebellious self we shall still find it alive. – C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain, p. 89

Alleluia. Christ is risen.

The Lord is risen indeed. Alleluia.

This is the opening acclamation of our worship service from Easter through the Day of Pentecost – fifty days of resurrection celebration when we (at least liturgically) celebrate the presence of the risen Christ amongst us. So far we have seen the empty tomb, have seen Jesus appear to the disciples twice so that Thomas would not be lost, and have seen Jesus cooking fish on the beach and telling Peter to “feed my sheep.” This coming Sunday we will hear Jesus talk about himself as a shepherd.

With his resurrection Jesus is pointing us to a new life, to a new way of being. In our baptismal covenant we state that we will continue in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, that we will resist evil, and that we will proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ.

Additionally, our Lenten observances are there to help us reshape our lives through prayer, fasting, and working to make a right beginning.

Whether it be the words of the Lord's Prayer, or those of the general confession, or maybe even those of a personal confession, I am/we are led to believe that we/I have broken the rebellious self at least on a weekly basis, if not more. I am/we are led to believe that we have defeated sin and are able to lead holy and blameless lives.

But for all of that – for all of the alleluias and for all of the celebrations, for all of the promises to resist evil and proclaim the good news, for all of the disciplines and attempts to make right beginnings – sin is right there at my door looking to control me and woo me away from God with promises of personal greatness.

The rebellious self moves away from God daily. The rebellious self looks to establish itself as equal to or greater than God. And when we work to put an end to our rebellious selves, or to put an and to our selfish ways in an honest attempt to make God a priority in our lives, it can feel like a part of us is dying. It can feel like we have put a small part of us to death.

Perhaps Jesus knew this. Perhaps this was why he told, and tells, his followers that whoever wants to follow him needs to pick up their crosses daily.

We are in the Easter season, the season of joy, new life, and resurrection. It is the season of alleluias and walks with Christ. Let us not get so caught up in the Easter celebration that we forget sin is not only a hard habit to break, but that we are very good at finding new, creative, and justifiable ways to sin. Because when we get right down to it, putting our sinful nature to death and living in the joy of resurrection is a daily exercise.

Blessings,

April 13, 2022

Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy Immortal One, Have mercy upon us.

This simple prayer is known as the Trisagion (a Greek word meaning, “Thrice Holy”). It's a standard hymn of the Divine Liturgy of the Orthodox churches, and is used in other liturgical churches in a variety of places and a variety of forms. We use it at Saint John's as an alternative to the Gloria during the Advent season, and I personally use it during times of contemplative prayer because its formula easily drives out other thoughts as well as offering a simple but powerful truth about God and us.

This prayer is also used during the Way of the Cross as a prayer between each Station. As we move from Jesus' condemnation through his journey to Golgotha and his death and burial, we recite this prayer. After fourteen stations, three times each, for a total of forty-two times, we recite this ancient hymn.

As I recite and meditate on the words of this hymn, I am reminded that it is God who is holy, mighty, and immortal, and I am not. As we move through the Stations of the Cross reciting this hymn, we are reminded that the body of Jesus also contained the divinity of God, thereby making him holy, mighty, and immortal, and at this moment in time we are asking for mercy due to our participation in his crucifixion.

As we move through Holy Week and all that entails, as we move through our lives when we get overly busy and sometimes overwhelmed, keep this prayer in mind. Use it when you need to slow down. Use it when you can't find the words to pray. Use it to remind you it is only God who is holy. Use it to remind yourself that you need to ask for mercy.

Holy God . . . breathe

Holy and Mighty . . . breathe

Holy Immortal One . . . .breathe

Have mercy upon us.

May you have a blessed Holy Week,

Todd+

April 6, 2022

This is the week before THE WEEK.

If you think Holy Week is stressful, you should be in the office this week.

Melonie is working to get all of the bulletins – Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter – updated, corrected, drafted, and ready to print, as well as ensuring we have all the proper lector spots filled, and ushers and LEM's scheduled. Mark is putting the finishing touches on music selections and working to ensure he has all the right choir people and other musicians lined up and ready to go. I'm putting together instructions for the altar guild, proofing bulletins, writing sermons, and discussing traffic flow with Dcn. Sue, while she is writing her own sermon, working on her Lukan study, and doing other diaconal things.

And we are all praying that the computers don't crash and the printer/copier doesn't die.

All of this to say that there is a lot of behind the scenes work that most people don't see or don't understand in preparation for Holy Week.

Holy Week is so named because it is the most holy week of the year. This is the week we participate in our Lord's Passion – from the whiplash events of Palm/Passion Sunday through the Triduum of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Day. We also have the two added services of Stations of the Cross along with the usual Evening Prayer offerings.

As we approach these holy days, I encourage you to mark them on your calendar and make every effort to attend these sacred services; especially since we are coming out of the dark days of COVID when all was restricted. If you happen to be out of town next week, or if you live somewhere other than the Hagerstown area, I encourage you to find a church close by and attend their Holy Week offerings.

Please pray for the clergy, staff, musicians, and others who are involved in these services as we work to honor God and each other through our worship and service.

Holy Week Schedule

April 10: Palm Sunday, 9:30 am (gather in the parking lot for the Liturgy of the Palms)

April 13: Wednesday in Holy Week

Stations of the Cross, 12:15 (enter through the elevator or Tower entrances)

April 14: Maundy Thursday

Stations of the Cross, 12:15 (enter through the elevator or Tower entrances)

Evening Prayer, 5:30 (enter through the South Transept)

Holy Eucharist, 7 pm

April 15: Good Friday

Stations of the Cross and Passion Liturgy, Noon

Stations of the Cross and Passion Liturgy w/choir, 7 pm

April 16: Holy Saturday

Holy Lamentations, Noon

April 17: Easter Day

Holy Eucharist Rite I w/Renewal of Baptismal Vows, 8 am

Holy Eucharist Rite II w/Renewal of Baptismal Vows, 10:15

March 23, 2022

For about the past five months or so, a dedicated group of people took on the task of studying the book of Revelation – more properly, The Revelation of Jesus Christ to John. Chapter by chapter and verse by verse we made our way through this last, strange, and mystifying book of the Bible. It is full of symbols, visions, fantastical beasts, portents from heaven, and cosmic battles. And if you're paying attention, it also has a Christmas nativity story that, not surprisingly, does not grace the cover of any Hallmark Christmas card.

We wrapped up our study this past Sunday with a general debriefing. What did you learn? What surprised you? How has your opinion of Revelation changed? It was a good discussion as we reflected on how this last book of the Bible was a beautiful and appropriate bookend to the first book of the Bible.

There were three specific things that came out of that discussion that I want to share with you all.

First, Revelation is not a revelation of horror but a revelation of good news. In this book we hear from the victorious Jesus Christ, he who is and who was and who is to come, he who is the slaughtered Lamb yet who lives for ever. We hear this eternal Christ say, “See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them . . . let everyone who hears say, 'Come.' And let everyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who wishes take the water of life as a gift.”

In these and other passages, we hear of an overflowing love of God to his people and a desire to be reunited with humanity. That is a revelation of good news.

Second, over and over we are given glimpses of worship. In the midst of chaos, in the midst of war, at times you don't expect, angels, archangels, and all the company of heaven gather to worship the Lord. In these glimpses of heavenly worship we also see glimpses of our own earthly worship. “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty . . . blessing and honor and power and might . . . and the incense with the prayers of the saints rose before God . . . Amen.”

We are reminded that the main activity of the Church is to worship. In both good times and bad, we worship the Lord with the saints and all the company of heaven in the beauty of holiness. May you remember that we are all surrounded by and part of that heavenly host every time we worship.

Third, Revelation is a book of victory and comfort. In the chaos and wars and oppression that we see in this world on a daily basis, we can take comfort in the words of Desmond Tutu who, in the midst of apartheid, said, “I've read the book . . . and We Win!!” That doesn't mean that we don't struggle or that we can cease to work for good, but that Revelation reflects a transcendent view of all eternity and puts it all into perspective. It reminds us that we live lineally, but God exists now. God is and was and is to come, therefore his name is I AM. And in Revelation we glimpse the intersection of linear time and eternal time.

As we continue to move through our time and through the Season of Lent, may you remember that the Lamb who was slaughtered is the Lamb who reigns for ever and ever. And may you remember that, no matter how bad things get, we are both partners and victors with Christ in the eternal good. Amen.

March 16, 2022

Mark and I meet every Tuesday afternoon to discuss and plan Sunday services. In some ways this is not a hard thing to do because our liturgy is prescribed by the rubrics of the Prayer Book. But there are still hymns to select, optional readings to consider, and movements to plan for.

As we (hopefully) begin to come out of the COVID pandemic, and as restrictions begin to ease, Mark and I have a variety of things to consider in preparing for the service. For big services – Christmas, Holy Week, Easter, Pentecost, All Saints' – we pull last year's bulletin to see what we did and if there are any changes we need to make.

Yesterday he came into my office with last year's bulletins so we could look at Palm Sunday. The problem here is that this year will not look like the COVID-infested service of last year. Things are different. We are on the hopeful cusp that things will also be more open. In trying to plan for a more open service this year, we could not use last year's COVID-driven bulletin. So we asked Melonie to print the bulletin from 2019.

As he and I looked at that bulletin we came to realize that Palm Sunday 2019 happened in Year C. Palm Sunday 2022 will take place in Year C. Our “normal” Palm Sundays were interrupted by three years of some very abnormal Palm Sundays. It was hard to comprehend that it had been that long. There was also some sense of comfort as we knew we could get back to doing what we did best without having to be innovative or protective.

Hopefully we are beginning to come out of the grip of COVID. We have spent three years wandering in that wilderness looking to be nourished while also looking to remain the people we once were.

But the reality is that the wilderness changes you. It changed the Israelites from a people of slavery to a people of freedom. It changed Jesus from a carpenter's son to an itinerant preacher who proclaimed the nearness of the kingdom of God. It has changed us. We may not know to what we have been changed, but none of use have come out of the pandemic unchanged.

The Palm Sunday, Holy Week, and Easter Day services will all feel familiar this year. There will be a comfortable feeling that we have returned to life as it was before COVID. But I challenge and warn you to avoid the temptation to return to life as it was. COVID has given us reason to question the necessity of how we do things – not only our liturgy, but things such as pay rates, prescription drug costs, and housing issues. Woe to us if we haven't learned anything from our COVID wilderness and are simply eager to return to how it used to be.

Lent is a 40-day wilderness experience. It is a time that we learn new things about ourselves and about the world around us. It is a time when we are changed. And woe to us if we come through the Lenten wilderness simply eager to return to how it used to be.

May this Lent change you, and may you live into that change as a new creation in the Lord,

Todd+

March 9, 2022

When I was in driver's ed I remember being told to “drive defensively.” In other words, I should be ready to react to any possible situation that might lead to an accident. But the more I thought about driving defensively, the more that didn't make sense to me. In almost every sport the defense reacts to what the offense does. Or, to put it another way, the defense has to wait for the offense to do something before it can act. So I began driving offensively. That is, instead of waiting for something to happen and reacting to it, I would be proactive in anticipating what might happen and plan my moves ahead of time.

This has actually saved me on more than one occasion where I was able to plan ahead so that I could proactively avoid an accident instead of being surprised and reacting to a situation, possibly making things worse.

Lent is the season of self-examination and repentance and of making right beginnings as we turn back to the Lord. In Lent we confess our sins at the beginning of the service as a way to both symbolically and honestly begin our worship in a state of absolution and grace. At other times in the year the Confession happens immediately before the Peace as a way to symbolically and honestly examine our lives and conduct so that we may share rightly in the celebration of Holy Communion.

I got to thinking about Lent and driver's ed. In a sense, the Confession is reminding us that we live our lives treating sin defensively. We react to sin by reciting the Confession: we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.

This is living defensively. This is reacting to sin.

But, instead of playing defense and reacting by confessing our faults after we have sinned, what if we attacked sin offensively? What if, instead of using the Confession as a clean up after the fact, we used it as an offensive game plan? We obviously can't do this all the time; but I'm willing to bet there are a few places in our lives where we know sin lies in wait for us. Maybe, as I've said before, we know our car is possessed by the devil and we drive and/or gesture in very un-Christ-like ways. Or maybe we know our phones or computers are fertile grounds for straying from God's ways.

It might be helpful to place a copy of the Confession in those places where we know we struggle. Tape a copy to your steering wheel or to the top of your laptop. Maybe make the Confession your home/wallpaper screen on your phone. By doing this, you just might be able to proactively avoid sinning in your immediate future. By doing this, you just might be able to put sin on defense.

May you have an offensive Lent,

Todd+