Wednesday Word . . . More on Hope
Deal
graciously with Daniel, Jamai, and Mackenzie in their grief.
Surround them with your love, that they may not be overwhelmed by
their loss . . . – BCP 494
I use this
prayer from the Burial Office to remind people attending funerals
that the family members of the deceased are in the midst of grief and
need support. I also use it to remind the family of the deceased
that they are being upheld in prayer and support.
This family
recently lost their 14-year old son and brother to suicide. I heard
about it at Youth Group last week, and I attended a candle-light
vigil at CCMS held on Monday night, March 16.
The death of a
son, brother, friend, grandson, nephew at this young age is
devastating for those who are left to deal with the loss. Questions
of why, or guilt over missing signs, flood minds. Unimaginable grief
overwhelms family members as they live in a house no longer occupied
by their child and brother. Thoughts of “lasts” – last meals,
last conversations, last arguments, last days – become a permanent
fixture in memories. Never agains, never wills, and what ifs creep
into imaginations.
The reasons for
someone dying by suicide are wide ranging – from addiction to
bullying, chronic pain to divorce, financial insecurity to long-term
unemployment, and so many others. And in the end, the suicidal
person has a belief that they would be better off by removing the
pain from their lives, or that everyone around them would be better
off if they were gone. Either way the decision is made because of an
overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.
What can be
done? That is a hard question to answer. But we can look for, and
be aware of, signs that a person is struggling. We can remind them
that there are resources available of qualified and trained people
who will talk with them. We can remind them of the 988 Life Line.
We can remind them that their story is not yet over. We can remind
them that they are loved. We can stress that our lives are better
with them than without them.
And sometimes we
can't see the signs because, as Robin Williams said, “Everyone you
meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
So it just might be that, by casually talking about resources in
everyday conversations, you will unknowingly provide a Lifeline
people need.
Our Baptismal
Covenant reminds us that our lives are inescapably interconnected
with other lives. As we continue in fellowship, as we persevere in
resisting evil, as we proclaim the Good News of God in Christ, and as
we work to love our neighbors as ourselves, may we always work to
provide hope for the people we know and meet.
May our eyes be ever open to seeing
hopelessness so that we can offer the love and hope of Christ,