June 22, 2022

I read a short story the other day about a remote monastery that hosted pilgrims visiting the holy shrine cared for by the monks. They also accepted visitors who needed time away, those who might be discerning a call to monastic life, and general tourists drawn to the beauty of the area.

One of the resident monks would get drunk every day which led to any number of issues with the pilgrims, visitors, and aspirants.

Eventually the monk died and some of the faithful expressed their relief to see this problem finally solved.

The abbot told them that, yes, he knew the old monk had died when he saw a battalion of angels coming to collect his soul. The people were amazed at this, sure that he must be mistaken; for how could this alcoholic monk be welcomed into heaven with such an escort?

The abbot explained to them: “This monk was born in a country overrun and destroyed by an invading army. They forcibly conscripted boys of a certain age while initially killing all boys under two. His parents would hide him as an infant and, in order to keep him quiet, put alcohol into his milk so he would sleep and not be found. Because of this he grew up an alcoholic.

“Later in life the man stumbled upon this monastery and told the abbot he was an alcoholic. The abbot welcomed him in and set him on a strict prayer regimen, which included praying for the strength to reduce by one the number of glasses of alcohol he drank. After a year, with struggle and repentance, he managed to reduce by one the number of drinks he had to 19 from 20.

“His struggle continued over the years, slowly reducing the number of glasses, but never reaching sobriety. His struggle finally ended the night he died. While the world saw an alcoholic monk who scandalized pilgrims, aspirants, and tourists, God saw a fighter who fought a long battle to live a life dedicated to God instead of dedicated to his passions and weaknesses.”

How often do we see people like the people in this story saw the monk – only seeing with our eyes what is visibly presented to us or with the vision of prejudice? I'm reminded of the words of the LORD when talking to Samuel about anointing David as king: “. . . for the LORD does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

How many times have we misjudged a person because of outward appearances; or how many times have we scorned a person for not living up to our standards without understanding their personal struggles?

We all have hidden issues that we are working through. It may or may not be an addiction, like the monk in the story, but we all struggle. May we all learn to be less judgmental in favor of becoming more understanding and forgiving.

As time goes on, maybe we can learn to reduce our daily judgments by one.

Blessings,

June 15, 2022

It's been a long two-plus years. I won't recount everything that has happened over that time, or everything that has changed, because we're pretty familiar with that story by now.

Today I want to write a little about COVID-weariness that seems to affect us all, some more than others.

I don't know if COVID-weariness is an actual, technical, authorized term, but it seems to fit what I've been both witnessing and experiencing. There are people who are simply tired of the whole thing and want to “get back to normal,” where normal means no masks and living/gathering as if COVID were over. There are also people who believe that COVID is not over and we need to be as hyper-vigiliant as we were in the first few months of the pandemic. And then there are people who are somewhere in the middle – continuing to wear masks in public and limiting or weighing the risks of gathering in groups, where catching COVID is not an “if” but a “when,” while doing all they can to limit that possibility.

No matter where you are on the spectrum, we are all tired. We are all weary. I think part of this weariness comes from having to continually adapt, pivot, and change. Granted, adaptation and change are part of life. As someone once said, “The only difference between a rut and a grave is how deep it is and how long you're in it.”

But to have to make the amount of changes we've been making, for as often as we've been making them, is wearisome.

This is one reason why I am grateful to be getting back into a routine of making house calls. Some of these visits are scheduled, while others are more along the lines of “knock and see who's home.” Some of them involve Communion, while others are just time spent in conversation.

This past Monday I spent most of the day in the car as I drove to Mercersburg, over to Chambersburg, and then through Waynesboro visiting some of our parishioners hither and yon. It was a long day. It was hot. I was pretty much exhausted by the time I returned to Hagerstown and closed out the day with Evening Prayer.

Exhausted, though, is not wearied. They can be synonymous, but in this context there is a difference. My exhaustion came from a full day's work of traveling to be with parishioners, of spending time with them and sharing conversation, and of being on the road. In that exhaustion I found energy.

Weariness, however, comes from constantly being run down, fatigued, frazzled, and worn out by things which seem beyond our control. One of the Collects in Compline reads, “Be present, O merciful God, and protect us through the hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life may rest in your eternal changelessness.”

In this particular phase of COVID, what wearies you? More importantly, what good thing can you do that gives you energy even while exhausting you? And then, as a way to combat weariness, maybe we could find energy in doing that thing that exhausts every now and then.

Blessings,

June 8, 2022

 Seek him who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning, and darkens the day into night; who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out upon the surface of the earth: The Lord is his name.

The Daily Offices of Morning and Evening Prayer begin with an opening sentence of Scripture, and each Office has its own set of sentences which can be read at different times.

Out of all of the opening sentences, this one is my favorite. If I were to give a reason, I think it's because this sentence sums up all we know about God.

Seek him – Scripture is full of places where we are instructed to actively seek God. We are often in pursuit, or looking for something, whether it be fame, fortune, or prestige. Over and over, from the prophets to the psalms and wisdom literature to the gospels we are encouraged to seek out the Lord. We seek the Lord in prayer, in worship, and in action.

Who made the Pleiades and Orion – We are reminded that God is the maker of heaven and earth, and of all that is, both seen and unseen. This is a reminder that, in the beginning when God created, the Pleiades and Orion were part of that creation.

And turns deep darkness into the morning – And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was. God is love and and light, and all that is deep darkness will be turned to morning light, for in him there is no darkness at all.

And darkens the day into night – God made two great lights – the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night – and there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day. In God's creative powers we have been given both day and night for work and rest.

Who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out upon the surface of the earth – Water is necessary for life. We were created in water. Water sustains us. We are baptized in water. Water is life-giving and the image of God pouring out water upon the surface of the earth is an image of a God of abundance.

The Lord is his name – On Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, I sit in the quiet of the church and prepare for Evening Prayer. During certain times of the year I can open the south transept door and the cool of the evening breeze enters in. Other times of the year I am able to watch the fading sunlight dance across the walls and altar as it streams through the stained glass windows. But all the time I am reminded that I sit in the presence of the Holy God, and I am reminded that he is the Lord and I am not.

In all we do may we seek him who is the author of creation, who provides our daily sustenance and rest, and who is overly abundant in his creative presence.

Blessings,

June 1, 2022

O Judge of the nations, we remember before you with grateful hears the men and women of our country who in the day of decision ventured much for the liberties we now enjoy. Grant that we may not rest until all the people of this land share the benefits of true freedom and gladly accept its disciplines. This we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

This is the Collect for Heroic Service which is found on page 839 of the BCP and is used most often on Memorial Day. It's a very good Collect and, as I read it last Sunday, the second sentence stood out to me more than any other year I can remember.

Grant that we may not rest until all the people of this land share the benefits of true freedom . . .

For all of the talk about this country being “the land of the free,” we can objectively see that it is not. We think that slavery has ended, but many girls and women get taken and sold into sexual slavery. There are many instances where people are not free to pursue careers or dreams because of systems designed to keep people of certain genders or races out. Or, if they get in, are faced with systemic abuse and roadblocks. People of color are still not free to drive or live in certain areas without the fear of being pulled over or questioned about their presence. I could go on, but you get the picture.

and gladly accept its disciplines.

Discipline can be a negative term, as in: I was disciplined for stealing. But discipline can also be used as a positive term. Discipline has the same root as disciple, so the first few people who followed Jesus were under his discipline. People who pursue a rule of life, Benedictines for instance, follow a book of discipline. Christians in general are supposed to have a life discipline (you could argue that ours is the Baptismal Covenant).

After the most recent slaughter of the innocents in the Buffalo grocery store and the elementary school in Uvalde, I again saw a reluctance to live under any sort of discipline. Unfettered freedom seems to be the rallying cry of certain people. Why is it that people want freedoms without disciplines (or responsibilities)? Why is it that people want freedoms for me, but not for thee?

In short, wouldn't we be better off in the long run if we worked to uphold the benefits of true freedom for all people within this country while also accepting its disciplines of living in community?

We have true freedom in Christ (“you will know the truth and the truth will make you free”); but we also live under his discipline (“take up your cross and follow me”).

There's a balance we need to find. It just may be that it's that balance that we are continually searching for.

Blessings,

May 25, 2022

Almighty God, whose blessed Son our Savior Jesus Christ ascended far above all heavens that he might fill all things: Mercifully give us faith to perceive that, according to his promise, he abides with his Church on earth, even to the end of the ages. – Collect for Ascension Day

Tomorrow is Ascension Day, forty days after Easter, and the day the Church commemorates the return of Jesus, Son of God, to that spiritual plane of heaven where he sits at the Father's right hand. As Hymn 214 states, “Hail the day that sees him rise, glorious to his native skies; Christ, awhile to mortals given, enters now the highest heaven!”

The window in the North Transept depicts the Ascension with Jesus on a cloud as he rises from the green, earthly realm to the blue, heavenly realm.

We could look at this event as the time Jesus, trusting that his work on earth was complete, left us to follow in his footsteps. That is certainly one way to view it – that it is now up to us to love our neighbor as God loves us, that it is up to us to proclaim the Good News, that it is up to us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, restore sight to the blind, and proclaim release to the captives, that it is up to us to work to reconcile all people to God through Jesus Christ.

On my Twitter feed someone had a discussion asking about holiness. They said that, for them, holiness and being holy was about following rules, but now didn't quite know what it meant. I answered that, for me, holiness resonated with space. As in, where is it that I am present with God? Where is it I am at peace? Holiness isn't about rules, but about finding the presence of God.

That thought came back to me as I read the above Collect. Yes, Jesus has left us. Yes, Jesus now resides far above all heavens. But let us have the faith to perceive that he abides with his Church on earth through the gift of the Holy Spirit.

If I'm right that holiness isn't about following rules but about finding the space (or spaces) where we are fully present with God, how might we look for more spaces to be more present with God? In other words, are there places other than the holy space that is Saint John's where we can be present with God? The answer, of course, is Yes. But a good follow up to that question might be, “Are we actively looking for those spaces?”

As the Collect implies, may we have the faith to perceive the holy presence of God with us.

Blessings,

May 18, 2022

We can't be useful unless we are empty. – Br. Aiden, Diocesan Clergy Retreat

The diocese held a clergy retreat at Claggett Center this past Sunday afternoon through Tuesday morning. It was good to get away, meet up with some clergy friends, share stories, and listen to our guest speaker. As a side note, I also won 6 out of 7 pool games, so that was fun!

Brother Aiden is a monk at the Holy Cross Monastery in upstate New York and he gave three presentations that touched on the general topic of holy presence. In one of the presentations he made the above statement. I'm sure that at some point or another you have heard something along the lines of, “emptying ourselves for God.”

That statement can, however, be taken to a negative extreme. It could be seen as a call to continually give of ourselves, emptying ourselves, until we reach the point where we have nothing left to give. This could be clergy who are bad at self-care. It could be teachers who run up against a system that continually requires them to give while not giving anything in return. Or it could be any other vocation that is based on service and care.

Brother Aiden pointed something out that helped me see this in a new way.

When we empty ourselves, we are removing things that we have used to fill us up that are in place of who God is asking us to be. We empty ourselves of the things, attitudes, desires, and/or other aspects of life that get in the way of living as God asks us to live.

It is through that emptying that we find God can fill our now empty space with a new direction, a new desire, a new interest, or a new insight to an old way of doing things.

Emptying ourselves for God doesn't mean burning out or going until we can't go anymore. Instead, think of emptying yourself for God as the spiritual discipline that allows you to get out of God's way so that your self-emptiness is now useful for God, and that usefulness is being holy (and wholly) present.

Blessings,

Todd+

May 4, 2022

Hence the necessity to die daily: how ever often we think we have broken the rebellious self we shall still find it alive. – C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain, p. 89

Alleluia. Christ is risen.

The Lord is risen indeed. Alleluia.

This is the opening acclamation of our worship service from Easter through the Day of Pentecost – fifty days of resurrection celebration when we (at least liturgically) celebrate the presence of the risen Christ amongst us. So far we have seen the empty tomb, have seen Jesus appear to the disciples twice so that Thomas would not be lost, and have seen Jesus cooking fish on the beach and telling Peter to “feed my sheep.” This coming Sunday we will hear Jesus talk about himself as a shepherd.

With his resurrection Jesus is pointing us to a new life, to a new way of being. In our baptismal covenant we state that we will continue in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, that we will resist evil, and that we will proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ.

Additionally, our Lenten observances are there to help us reshape our lives through prayer, fasting, and working to make a right beginning.

Whether it be the words of the Lord's Prayer, or those of the general confession, or maybe even those of a personal confession, I am/we are led to believe that we/I have broken the rebellious self at least on a weekly basis, if not more. I am/we are led to believe that we have defeated sin and are able to lead holy and blameless lives.

But for all of that – for all of the alleluias and for all of the celebrations, for all of the promises to resist evil and proclaim the good news, for all of the disciplines and attempts to make right beginnings – sin is right there at my door looking to control me and woo me away from God with promises of personal greatness.

The rebellious self moves away from God daily. The rebellious self looks to establish itself as equal to or greater than God. And when we work to put an end to our rebellious selves, or to put an and to our selfish ways in an honest attempt to make God a priority in our lives, it can feel like a part of us is dying. It can feel like we have put a small part of us to death.

Perhaps Jesus knew this. Perhaps this was why he told, and tells, his followers that whoever wants to follow him needs to pick up their crosses daily.

We are in the Easter season, the season of joy, new life, and resurrection. It is the season of alleluias and walks with Christ. Let us not get so caught up in the Easter celebration that we forget sin is not only a hard habit to break, but that we are very good at finding new, creative, and justifiable ways to sin. Because when we get right down to it, putting our sinful nature to death and living in the joy of resurrection is a daily exercise.

Blessings,