July 29, 2020

The calm before the storm.

I understand why people say that. I've said it myself. We say it because there oftentimes seems to be just that – a period of relative calm before things get really crazy, hectic, out of control, or whatever. During the football season, it's that time when the officials are all gathered together in one place, apart from everyone and everything else, between the time we've finished dressing and the time we walk out onto the field, when there's a feeling of calm.

I'm sure we all have our own examples of that period just before things get crazy when we have a moment or two where we can gather our thoughts, take a deep breath or two, and then off we go.

Right now should feel like that – it should feel calm before we begin to regather for in-person worship this Sunday. It should, but it's not.

All of the planning and discussion the PRC did toward this moment is finished and we are ready to go. The petition to the diocese was made and accepted. But now we are working to ensure that everything we put down on paper gets addressed and lived into in person.

Do we have enough hand sanitizer? Did we get tables and chairs where they need to go? Do we have the right signage? Will our thermometers work? Will the reservation process go as planned? Will we have enough bulletins? And, and, and, and . . .

So this time isn't the calm before the storm, but it is the storm before the calm.

We have prepared as well as we can. Things will be as ready as they can. And on Sunday we will welcome both people into the building and those watching online as we worship together. It will be there, with our gathered community, online and in person, where the calmness of our worship will wash over us. It will be there where we will pray together, hum together (no singing yet), and feast together. And it will be there when the words of Julian of Norwich will echo in our collective minds, “All shall be will. All shall be well. All manner of things shall be well.”

This Sunday, what will be will be, and that will be enough.

If you have made reservations to join us in person, I look forward to worshiping with you. If you will be joining us from your home, I look forward to worshiping with you. Wherever you are on this journey, know that we are gathered together; and I hope that brings a bit of calm into your life.

Be well,

July 22, 2020

Joelene and I were on vacation last week, and we had a nice getaway. We headed over to Lewes, DE, and spent three days in a wonderful B&B near downtown on the main street and less than a mile from the beach. We also spent some time at Rehoboth on the beach and wandering through some shops.

In general it was a good time away where the only thing we really had to worry about was making sure we were up and out of our room by 9:00 so we could be served breakfast. We read a little, played some cribbage, did a little sight-seeing, ate well, and not much else.

That said, it was also good to come home; it's always nice sleeping in your own bed. Vacation continued through Sunday when I made pancakes before getting online to watch Sunday service.

And then it was back to work on Monday – no sleeping in, no relaxing breakfast prepared for us by a doting staff, no leisurely strolls through downtown or along the beach. It was back to regular mornings, returning phone calls and e-mails, working on the Wednesday Word, the monthly Ramblings, sermon prep, and seeing to any number of other things needing attention.

At some point during the day I went into the church to drop off a few bottles of hand sanitizer and then walked back to the sacristy. And as I made that walk up the center aisle looking toward the High Altar and the Mark 16 window I let out a little sigh and said to myself, “It's good to be home.” For indeed, this is a special place, and it is a place, as I said two weeks ago, where we gather engage with each other and God. Not that we must do that within the walls of Saint John's, but every group needs a gathering place, and this is ours.

With that feeling of good-to-be-home and the deep sense of holiness that embraces you when you are in the nave, either alone or with our community, I looked ahead ever so slightly to when we might once again regather. Because, while I have been able to worship in the beauty of holiness every Sunday, as well as weekday Evening Prayer, most of you reading this have not, and I look forward to the day when parishioners of Saint John's can once again join me in this holy place.

The Parish Regathering Committee has a meeting tonight to discuss this very thing. We have been working to get protocols in place for regathering, looking at the COVID infection rate in Washington County, and being guided by diocesan policies. I will send out an update tomorrow as to where we are and what was decided at tonight's meeting.

This has been a long stretch for all of us. I want to thank you for your continued support, dedication, and understanding, as well as all your prayers. My hope is to be able to provide something positive for us – for you – to look forward to once again being in our sacred space, to once again be able to gather in community and worship, and for us to say, “It's good to be home.”

This is home, and I believe we are close to returning.

Be hopeful,

July 8, 2020

“The church building is not, per se, the place where God dwells. Rather, it is a meeting house where the community engages with God and one another.” – The Shackles of the Present, Matthew Alderman, The Living Church, September 21, 2014.

We have been doing this COVID thing now for about four months. It seems a lot longer to me, and maybe it does to you as well. And over that time we have lost some things, but we have also gained some things.

We have lost our ability to come together and worship God in the beauty of holiness. We have lost our ability to come together and be with each other over a Monday morning breakfast, Sunday coffee hour, or any number of times and places where we had normally gathered.

We have also gained a new understanding of what church is or can be. We have learned to connect with people in different ways. Some of us have been calling others on a regular basis to check in and keep up. People who didn't normally cross paths have gotten to know each other in new and meaningful ways. We have developed our online presence and are continually working to improve that aspect of worship.

But still . . . we miss our building. I get that. Episcopalians love their buildings. Sometimes, though, that love of building can fall into a type of idolatry. I have a friend who, when he was having a particularly bad week at the church, would say, “Maybe we just need to burn the thing to the ground so we can learn what church is all about.” I don't really know anything about that congregation other than what he told me, but it seemed like that group of people had fallen into the trap of building idolatry.

I don't think we suffer from that here at Saint John's. We certainly love our building, and we do our best to care for it so that future generations may appreciate its beauty. But we also know that there are plenty of times and places and circumstances where we encounter God, and others encounter God through us, outside of our building.

We know that God is not confined to a building. We know that we don't need a building to do a lot of the things we do. But the church building is the place where the Beloved Community gathers to intentionally engage with each other. We have learned that worshiping alone is hard, worshiping with others via the internet is hard, connecting with others outside of this space is also hard. That's why our building is important.

The good thing about the COVID quarantine is that we have learned we can do this. We can be church without the church, so to speak. But it has also taught us just how precious and important our communal engagement with each and and God is to us.

The building isn't where God dwells. The building isn't where church happens. But the building is where we intentionally engage with God and others.

Through all of this, I want you to know that I am hopeful that, sooner rather than later, we will once again be able to engage with God and others in that sacred and holy space we all love.

Be hopeful,

July 1, 2020

Joelene and I are going on vacation in just over a week. I put a post up on Facebook asking for recommendations of where to go and got all kinds of responses. If you were one of the people who responded, thank you. We opted for a beach excursion and will be spending three days by the ocean.

Coordinating vacations for the two of us can be difficult. She needs to worry about how much time she has available and if a particular time-slot is available. I'm easier on that front, but I need to worry about whether or not I can find supply clergy to cover those Sundays I want to be gone. The good news is that we made it work – at least for this particular week in July.

So we're going to take some time, get away, walk on the beach, explore the town, and generally just relax. We'll spend some time in silence listening to the sound of the ocean. We may take a short road trip and go explore. I'm sure there will be a few other things that will make themselves available (crab shacks are high on that list), but I'm particularly looking forward to listening to the ocean.

Listening to the ocean is something along the lines of holy silence. There's really nothing you can say to the ocean, you can only sit and listen to the never-ending sound of waves coming to shore. It's a sound that hasn't changed for billions of years, ever since the first ocean wave crashed ashore on the first mass of land it encountered. We just sit and listen.

I know people who like to vacation in the mountains or other parts of nature who also enjoy listening – listening to the birds, other animals, gurgling brooks, the wind, or maybe a waterfall. There's something about listening to these things, spending time in that holy silence, that is calming. There is something there reminding us that, no matter how crazy, hectic, or chaotic things get, all will be well. But we need to take the time to sit. We need to take the time to be still. We need to take the time to listen. We need to take time to sit in holy silence.

Wherever you are, however you are coping with the stress of COVID, whatever busy-ness has been showing up in your life, take some time to spend in holy silence. What can you hear? What do you want to hear? Listen.

Sometimes in that listening we discover answers to our questions. Sometimes in that listening we discover answers to questions we never knew we were asking. Sometimes in that listening we are comforted. Sometimes in that listening we just listen and nothing is different.

All of those are okay. It's not about finding answers. It's not about discovering some deep, previously unknown answer to life. It's simply about being available to listen to the God who has been here for billions of years singing a song as never-ending as the waves crashing onto shore.

And maybe, if we spend time in that holy silence just listening, we can also learn to be present with others, offering to them the holy silence of ourselves as we listen to what they are saying.

Be well,

June 24, 2020

“Seek him who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning . . .” BCP 115

This is part of one of the options to begin Evening Prayer and it is probably my favorite beginning. The whole verse is taken from Amos 5:8, and it goes on to proclaim the wondrous power and glory of the Lord.

It's always hard for me to pick a favorite anything, because I tend to like a lot of different things in different ways and at different times. Things like, “What's your favorite food?” or, “What's your favorite Beatles song?” or, “What's your favorite place?” are always problematic for me because it depends . . . what time of year is it? What's my mood at the time? What's happening in the world? All of these factor into making the choice difficult.

“Here comes the sun,” is up there on that list, but that plays better after a long, cold winter than in June or July. Cannon Beach, Oregon is also up there, and probably very near the top; but driving through the Cascade Mountains after two years of seeing nothing higher than the Sears Tower is also good. And pie . . . well, it's always pie – blueberry cream cheese to be exact.

“What's your favorite scripture verse?” is one of those questions. Where am I spiritually? What's going on? What day is it? All this and more play into that decision. But this one from Evening Prayer is at the top of the list.

In times of difficulty, in times of stress, in times when I'm overly tired and want to just lie down and stop, there's this verse. Seek him who made the Pleiades and Orion, and turns deep darkness into the morning.

This is a reminder that God is not only the Lord of everything, but that God is all around. It's a reminder to continually seek him, because he wills to be found. It's a reminder that the deep darkness – whether the dark of night or the dark night of our soul – God will turn that darkness into the light of morning. It may take longer than we want or expect, but it will happen.

And for me, in this time of unrest and pestilence, that is something I desperately need to hold onto.

God is everywhere. Let us seek him who made the Pleiades and Orion, and let us live in hope that the deep darkness will turn to the light of morning.

Be hopeful,

June 17, 2020

“Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest awhile” – Mark 6:31

There are several places in scripture where Jesus withdraws away from the crowds and pressure of being Jesus to pray, recharge, and renew. Even though he was God, he was also human; and he needed to find time to rest so that he could do those things he needed to do effectively. He needed to find time to rest his human body so that he wouldn't burn out and give up. The interesting thing for us to remember here is that even God rested on the seventh day. Both Jesus' humanity and divinity needed to rest every so often.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and she suggested that maybe it was time for me to take a rest.

I went back through the calendar and discovered that I have written a Daily Meditation almost every day since March 15, excluding most Sundays and the time Dcn. Sue took over. As we were talking, I said something about my brain being empty. To which she said, “So take a break.”

I started writing these meditations as ways for you all to remain hopeful and connected. I wanted to offer a piece of light and certainty in a time when things seemed dark and uncertain. I hope I did that.

But now, after three months of almost daily writing, my brain feels empty. It's not writer's block so much as it is writer's fatigue. I'm tired. And the pressure to write daily has now outweighed the ability to produce. So after wrestling with this, I've decided to stop writing daily meditations.

I know this may come as a shock to some of you who have looked forward to, and maybe relied on, these little daily messages, and I'm sorry for that. I suppose I could have begun the process by whittling down from daily to three times a week to twice a week to none, but I probably would've forgotten to write at all.

So I'm going away to a deserted place, at least as far as the Daily Meditations are concerned. The Wednesday Word will still happen. We will still look for ways to stay connected, stay calm, and stay church. The people making phone calls will continue to do so. I will continue to call people on birthdays and anniversaries. And we will continue to work to keep everyone updated with where we are in regards to COVID and how we're handling it. But it's now time to take a rest from daily writing.

We all need to take time to rest every so often. During everything that is and has been going on, I hope you are also finding time to rest.

Be well,

June 10, 2020

Support

No man is an island . . . We are all in this together . . . It takes a village to raise a child . . . All for one, and one for all.

These are just a few sayings having to do with the understanding that . . . well . . . we are all in this together. Whether that be in careers, church, school, or society in general, we rely on other people for a whole lot of things, some of which we may not even know we are relying on other people.

Sometimes that reliance is frustrating and tenuous. I'm thinking back to group projects in school where it always seemed that one person didn't contribute much of anything, thereby either dragging the whole group down with him/her, or setting the other members into overdrive and reaping the benefits of their labor for his/her good grade. Some office teams are that way, being a team in name only.

On Monday I sent out a Daily Meditation expressing my frustration with technology that failed mid-service. And while I normally don't use this forum to express frustrations, I wanted to let you all know how that negatively affected me, especially during a service that so many of you had asked for – Holy Eucharist.

The upside to all of this for me was the number of e-mails and texts I received from various parishioners. Those were messages of support. They were messages reminding me that we are all doing the best we can with what we've got. They were words of encouragement to not give up. And I was reminded yet once again why I am so blessed to be part of this community of Saint John's.

Through everything we have been through in the past several months, we know that we are all in this together. We work to ensure that nobody feels alone on a deserted island. We are a beloved community even though we are scattered about unable to gather together in-person.

I am thankful for everyone associated with the production of Sunday services. I am thankful for the words of encouragement I receive from any number of people when I have one of THOSE days. I am thankful for the assistance and presence so many of you offer to so many of you.

As we move into the fourth month of the COVID pandemic, as we continue to be physically separated and distanced from each other, as we continue to work toward doing our part to help stop the spread of this pestilence visited upon us, let us never forget to continue to support each other. If someone has been on your mind lately, call them, or maybe write a note and mail a card. If you are feeling frustrated with whatever situation you are in, call someone and ask to vent.

We are all in this together and we can come out of it stronger than when we went in if we remember that we are a beloved community linked to each other in good times and bad.

So, in the words of Bartles & Jaymes,

Thank you for your support