September 7, 2022

In you, O Lord, have I taken refuge; let me never be put to shame: *

deliver me in your righteousness. -- Ps. 31:1

This past Sunday's sermon revolved around lex orandi, lex credendi, the saying that means praying shapes believing. Our prayer life can inform and shape our wider life if we allow it to do so. During that sermon I had ushers pass out a small Daily Devotional tri-fold taken from the BCP. The devotional leads us through prayers in the morning, at noon day, and in the early evening. There are, of course, other times you can pray, but (as I suggested) if you set an alarm on your cell phone to ring at those times you will be guaranteed three times a day when you settle down and spend some time with God.

Another time to pray is at the close of day. The BCP service for the end of the day is Compline, and the portion of Psalm 31 above comes from there.

My wife and I pray Compline at bedtime almost every night as part of our routine. Within that service there are several Psalms, readings, and prayers from which the Officiant can choose to read. When it's my turn to lead, I will typically alternate readings and prayers, but I will always choose to read Ps. 31.

My reasoning for that is because, for me, prayer and liturgy have a way of seeping into me the more familiar I am with it. Maybe this is why I like being an Episcopalian so much – the service has the same path and the same cadence week after week, month after month, year after year. Far from being rote and monotonous, this familiarity allows the liturgy to become part of me to the point that it keeps me grounded when I feel flustered and anchored when I feel like I'm drifting in the abyss.

In this chaotic world, may we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life find familiarity and strength, solace and comfort, groundedness and security in the routines of regular prayer and worship. And may we never look at these times of prayer and worship as an obligatory duty to be performed but as a privilege to sit with God in spaces that are holy.

Blessings,

August 3, 2022

Two weeks ago I was on my personal retreat at Holy Cross Monastery in West Park, NY. One of the joys of my time there was how often the brothers rang the bell for worship. Every day the bell would ring at 7, 9, Noon, 5, and 8 for Morning Prayer, Holy Eucharist, Noonday Prayer, Evening Prayer, and Compline. The Readings all followed the Daily Lectionary. and this week, Proper 11, we heard from Matthew 26:36-75, the story of Jesus in Gethsemane up through Peter's denial.

The chapel is sparse with white walls, a high ceiling and windows, choir seating for the monks, gallery seating for guests in the back, and a plain altar. The faint smell of incense permeates the air. A large, Eastern Orthodox-style crucifix icon hangs on the east wall behind the altar and is the only adornment in the building.

As I sat in the chair listening to the reading from Matthew's gospel about the arrest of Jesus, I knew what was eventually coming: his crucifixion and death. The week of Proper 12 would tell of his flogging, the ripping of his robe from his just-beginning to congeal body, the crown of thorns driven into his head, the spit on his face, the beating at the hands of the Roman guards, and (even though Matthew doesn't specifically say it) the nails that were hammered through his hands and feet. This was a brutal and painful experience.

While nowhere near the pain Jesus experienced, I was experiencing my own pain as if thousands of white-hot needles were being inserted into my back. The pain made it difficult to sit. It was also difficult to stand and walk as the pain would radiate down my leg and across my back. I sat with my own excruciating pain as I listened to the story of Jesus' betrayal and arrest and thought about his upcoming crucifixion. And I wondered.

Today, depending on when you read this, I will either be preparing for, undergoing, or recovering from back surgery. The increasing pain I have been experiencing will hopefully be coming to an end. In the best of outcomes, there will be no more pain. At this point I would consider an outcome of simply being sore a good outcome. The point is that I believe there is an end in sight to the pain. As Jesus was going through his own journey of physical pain, was he able to see an end to that pain, even if the end was death? Did he finally welcome that outcome as the ultimate relief?

And I wondered about the pain of betrayal. Was the kiss of Judas as emotionally painful as the physical pain of his journey to the cross? Was seeing Peter deny him three times as emotionally painful as the physical pain of hanging on the cross? Was looking around to find he had been deserted by all of his male disciples as spiritually painful as his desertion by God (Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani)? And I wonder if even now he is haunted by the suicide of Judas?

There will be an end to physical pain, and hopefully mine is in the final stretch today. Emotional and spiritual pain, however, can last a lifetime.

With that in mind, may we work to be gentle with others and ourselves. May we give ourselves and others grace when we stumble. And may we, like Peter, return to say, “I love you.”

Blessings,

July 27, 2022

While on retreat last week I read a book called One Thousand Gifts, in which the author makes the argument that it is only through giving God thanks for all things that allows us to relearn to see the presence of God all around us. She is not an Episcopalian, but she stumbles upon the word eucharisteo, the Greek word for thanksgiving. We are obviously familiar with this word through our service of Holy Eucharist. Throughout the book she makes use of this word as the foundation and centrality of giving God thanks in all things.

“What if,” she says, “the Fall wasn't a result of eating the forbidden fruit and blaming the other (Adam blames Eve who blames the serpent), but what if the Fall was a result of our ingratitude to God?” In other words, the serpent said if we ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil our eyes would be opened and we would be like God. What really happened, though, is that the serpent caused us to doubt God's goodness that we could see all around us, and eating the fruit opened our eyes to see what we had NOT been given. We went from being grateful and able to see all of God's gifts, to being ungrateful and focused on what we did not have, or on what we were missing. It was with that new vision of ingratitude or ungratefulness which left its mark on us and with which we now see.

As you all know by now, I am scheduled for my third back surgery next week. I am hopeful that this one will eliminate, or at least relieve, the ever-present pain that makes daily living difficult and Sundays almost unbearable. But in that pain, I'm not sure I have ever given thanks.

After reading this book, I have found a way to be thankful. I am thankful for a new understanding and empathy toward people with chronic pain. I am thankful to have eyes to see things in a new way. I am thankful for moments of painlessness. I am thankful for support. I am thankful I am still walking.

The worship service that begins on pages 323 and 355 of the BCP is titled: The Holy Eucharist. It can also be called The Holy Thanksgiving. The second half of the complete service, the rite of Holy Communion, is sub-titled The Great Thanksgiving. Eucharist, Thanksgiving, is the name of the entirety of the service, with a great thanksgiving occurring in the rite of Holy Communion.

What if we saw this service not as something we do on Sunday, but as preparing us to give thanks in the week to come? What if we saw it as a way of opening our eyes to the goodness of God all around us? What if we saw it as setting the tone for the upcoming week rather than as a brief respite from a fallen world?

This is the call of all God's children: to give thanks and praise in all things, learning to be thankful for all our gifts in all circumstances. In learning to do that, in learning to give thanks in all things, in making a daily practice of giving thanks and praise, it just might lead to a transformation of our selves that relearns to see the world as God created it – very good.

Blessings,

July 20, 2022

O God, make speed to save us:

Our help is in the name of the Lord:

This coming Sunday the Christian Formation Commission is hosting the first Sunday Fun Day and will revolve around prayer. In the upcoming gospel reading the disciples ask Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray like John taught his disciples.” In response Jesus gives them, and us, what has become known as the Lord's Prayer.

I've been meeting with a couple over the past several months in preparation for their wedding at the end of October. This past session dealt with prayer and we talked about times and styles of prayers. Everything from when to how often to formulas to simple liturgies. I told them a story about a monk who, when asked what was the right kind of prayer, said, “The kind you do.”

In other words, prayer forms and styles and times change over time. The trick is to keep at it. And if one form or style or time no longer works for you, then make a change – but keep praying.

Show of hands: How many of you, when you read the first two lines up there, answered either in your mind or out loud, “O Lord, make haste to help us,” and, “The maker of heaven and earth?”

These are part of the opening lines to Evening Prayer and Compline as found in the Prayer Book. If you pray these Daily Offices regularly you probably automatically filled in the response when you read those opening sentences. That's part of the beauty of the BCP and daily prayer – the words become a part of you.

There's an old saying that goes, “lex orandi, lex credendi.” That is, “what we pray is what we believe.”

Prayer isn't a list of requests we send up to God. Prayer isn't the 75 cents we put into the holy vending machine so we can get item C7. Prayer is the daily conversation, the daily formation, that helps shape our lives. How we pray and what we pray shapes how we interact with those around us. If we pray, “deliver us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge,” on a daily basis, that will most likely have a different outcome than if we pray, “may God utterly demolish my enemies” on a daily basis.

May we all have a set of prayers that grounds us, informs us, and guides us. And may that give us the strength to follow Christ on this difficult road of discipleship.

Blessings,

July 13, 2022

This isn't so much a Wednesday Word as it is a Wednesday Update.

Most of you are aware of my many back issues I've had over the past few years. As a reminder, I have experienced back pain to the best of my memory all of my life – not all of my adult life, but all of my life. That problem was getting progressively worse as I got older.

In 2019, at the recommendation of a physical therapist, I made a visit to a surgeon connected with the University of Maryland Medical Center. After x-rays and consultation, it was decided to perform surgery to correct the excessive spinal curvature as well as improve the spacing between some of my vertebrae. That surgery took place on November 13. And then in July of 2020, for the first time in my life, I was pain-free. That lasted through August.

But then in September I started experiencing pain once again. Without going into all the details, I suffered a collapsed disc immediately below the original surgery point. More appointments and attempts to solve the problem in a variety of other means followed. Unfortunately a second surgery was the ultimate outcome of this; but due to COVID that surgery didn't happen until August 4, 2021.

Another rehab followed. This time, however, I didn't even get to experience two months of painlessness. More x-rays, MRI's followed which showed that I developed a herniated disc immediately below the second surgical site. After more consultations I am going in for my third surgery.

This third (and hopefully final) surgery will take place on August 3 – three weeks from today. The plan is to remove my last disc and insert a cage and supporting hardware which should provide the support needed to prevent anymore collapses and/or problems. Since this is happening at the base of my spine, I am quite literally at the tail end of this.

I have put out a message to clergy colleagues in the diocese letting everyone know of what is happening and asking for supply clergy for the four Sundays in August since I will be taking all month off to recover/recuperate.

I don't normally make my health a topic of conversation, but this was the best way for me to let all of you know what was happening without having to have multiple conversations and possibly miss someone. I also wanted to give you all a heads up as to where I would be come this August.

Deacon Sue and the Pastoral Care Team, amazingly led by Dusty Graham, will be available for pastoral emergencies. Senior Warden, Bob Speelman, and Junior Warden, Deanna Soulis, will also be available to assist as needed. And as always, Melonie Orr, our fantastic Parish Administrator, will be around to help.

Thank you for your prayers and concerns, and I'm hoping that I will finally get to a place of, if not no pain, at least a dull throb.

Blessings,

July 6, 2022

I was talking with a parishioner recently about the state of everything and how easy it is to become discouraged.

From Supreme Court rulings that stripped away a woman's right to bodily autonomy, that allowed for more people to carry concealed weapons, that curbed the EPA's ability to require reductions in power plant emissions thereby valuing profits over people, to the relatively uneventful apprehension of Bobby Crimo (the white man who killed six people in Highland Park, IL), to the Akron police killing the unarmed black man Jayland Walker (who had sixty bullet holes in his body), to the police shooting of John Crawford (another black man) for carrying a toy gun, to the inaction of the Uvalde police department, to the rise of white supremacist groups such as the Proud Boys whose goal is to intimidate people of color, to people and politicians continuing to falsely claim a stolen election, to any number of other actions, it is easy to become discouraged. It's easy to simply barricade yourself inside. It's easy to give up. It's easy to do nothing but cry.

In our lamentation he mentioned that he hoped for a better future. My response was, “We have to be hopeful, because right now that's all we've got.”

Paul wrote, “Faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.” But I wonder if hope isn't foundational to everything.

Paul also wrote, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Which is true when speaking about God. We patiently hope for a resurrection we do not see. We have not yet seen the fulfillment of God's kingdom, but we hope for its arrival and wait patiently for its coming.

But to hope for better days without acting on those hopes, or refusing to act out of fear, is nothing more than by and by pie in the sky wishful thinking. To see basic rights continually stripped away, to watch as our citizen's health is seen as an inconvenience, or to witness the resurgence of white supremacy without doing anything but hoping for better days, makes us complicit in those crimes.

Paul also wrote: Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor,. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, extend hospitality to strangers.

Hope for better days, hope for full equality, hope for full inclusion, hope for an end to hatred and abuse are all worthwhile goals. But our hope for those things must be tied to actions which will work to ensure all people experience the rights and privileges espoused by this country's founding documents and which all people should experience by virtue of being created in the image of God.

Let us hope for better days. But let us also be willing to work to make that hope a reality.

Blessings,

June 29, 2022

 Last week the Supreme Court made two rulings that will endanger the lives of many people. The first was to overturn New York's law limiting who was allowed to carry a concealed weapon. This ruling makes it much easier for people to carry weapons under any circumstances, in effect stating that individuals should have the right to choose to carry weapons without interference from the state.

The second was the overturning of Roe v. Wade. This decision removed a woman's right to bodily autonomy and free choice in favor of allowing the state to have control over those choices.

In these two decisions the Supreme Court has ruled the state cannot limit your choice to carry a concealed weapon, while simultaneously ruling the state can limit a woman's bodily choice.

When I heard the ruling on loosening the restrictions for concealed carry, I was extremely disappointed, especially in light of the ongoing gun violence in our nation, our cities, our communities, our churches, and our schools. When I heard the news on the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I was heartbroken.

I was heartbroken for the girls and women who will be forced to birth a baby who is the result of rape, either by a stranger or by a family member. I was heartbroken for the girls and women who develop ectopic pregnancies and will be forced to birth a baby whose life-span is measured in weeks, not years. I was heartbroken for those same girls and women whose pregnancies will become life-threatening and now have no means of care other than thoughts and prayers.

I fear for girls, women, and healthcare providers who now may (will) face murder charges in the name of pro-life. I fear for the girls and women living in states considering travel bans as a basis for premeditated murder. I fear for those people who face laws allowing them to be sued for aiding and abetting abortions. I fear for the girls and women who will fall into physical danger at the hands of men who want no part of having to care for another life.  Most importantly, I fear for the girls and women who will take matters into their own hands.

To be clear, the Episcopal church for years has “opposed abortion as a means of birth control, family planning, sex selection, or any reason of mere convenience.”

While the official church policy states that abortion should never be used for mere convenience, the church recognizes there are instances when that choice must be made. The 2018 General Convention called for “women's reproductive health and reproductive health procedures to be treated as all other medical procedures.” The Convention declared “that equitable access to women's healthcare, including women's reproductive healthcare, is an integral part of a woman's struggle to assert her dignity and worth as a human being.”

Outlawing abortions and punishing women will not end abortions, but it will continue to punish women. It will harm women. It will lead to more deaths, not life. Unfortunately this decision and these laws do nothing to address the role men play in pregnancies and single motherhood, once again laying blame and responsibility on women and girls.

Furthermore, this decision will negatively impact poor and minority women more than others. Girls and women unable to travel for medical care will be forced into any number of bad choices, or have decisions forced upon them, while those who can travel will receive the assistance needed. And those with the right connections will still receive abortions under the cloak of privileged secrecy.

Let's be honest: this ruling is not about pro-life, but about controlling women and establishing forced-birth laws. If this were a pro-life issue, prenatal care would be free. If it were a pro-life issue, the medical fees associated with giving birth would cost $0. If it were a pro-life issue, diapers, formula, baby food, healthcare, and childcare would be free or greatly subsidized. It if were a pro-life issue, 192 Republicans wouldn't have voted against giving financial aid to the FDA to help with the recent baby formula shortage.

I said I was afraid for the girls and women who are the targets of this ruling, and I am; but I am also afraid for others as this ruling is only the tip of the iceberg.

Justice Clarence Thomas, in a follow-up piece, wrote that the court should reconsider rulings on access to birth control, as well as the validity/legality of same-sex relationships and marriages. Obviously I can't predict whether this will happen or, if those rulings are revisited, whether existing laws will once more be struck down in favor of religious intolerance. But if ever there were a time to be worried, it is now.

With that in mind, let me say now to all lgbtq+ people who are beloved members of our community:

If you don't have a will, get one.

If you don't have an advanced directive, make one.

If you haven't designated a medical and/or financial power of attorney, do so now.

If you haven't designated a beneficiary on your life insurance policy, do so now.

If you don't have a hospital visitation directive, get one.

Personal freedoms are coming under attack ever day now, and not just from the Supreme Court. More people have become emboldened to use threats, intimidation, and terrorism to silence those whom they oppose. Things we once took for granted are being attacked and recalled in some vague attempt to make this country great. But what makes this country great is the welcoming and lifting up of people different from us, not their constant abuse and marginalization. Equality is never freely handed out to the powerless and minorities by those in power or the majority. It needs to be challenged and fought for, because for some people equality is frightening.

Finally, Episcopal clergy in every diocese received a note from the Office of the Presiding Bishop that states:

“We have received information from federal authorities of credible security threats against clergy and churches around the...release by the US Supreme Court of its abortion decision. There is concern that clergy who have advised parishioners about abortion access and their reproductive rights may face threats or violence.

“The guidance we are hearing is for religious communities to encourage peaceful responses to the decision...in the days following the decision and also in weeks to come... while remaining vigilant about potential security threats.”

With that in mind, we must remember that standing with the outcast, the marginalized, and the other has inherit risks, but standing in love and support with those whom the larger society wants to eliminate or marginalize is what our faith calls us to do.

May God grant us wisdom and courage for the facing of these days.